As drunk as a skunk ! - Free - [ ENG ]

Hogward, on the grass. 11 a.m.

[ HRP : Sorry for my bad english, if you don't understant that probably normal U_u ]

I'm a crazy man.
Oh no .. Not that story again !
Actually, you can't say I'm crazy. I'm just totally fucked up. And that is my only problem. I guess... It all began the night mrs. Young asked us to come and I saw his body ... The cold and silent body of my best friend. I didn't know how to react.
Was it true ? Wasn't it all just an awful nightmare ? Will I wake up and hold him in my arms like I've done a million times ?
No. I'll never wake up, I'm living a nightmare nowadays. I'll never see him again. He's gone, he has left us .. It's sad, so fucking sad. I feel empty inside. So empty.
I want to be strong again, I want to be happy, to love.
Okay, I love Jade, and all my friends but that isn't enough. I need a big brother. Someone who helps me, someone who supports me. But where can I find someone like that? Is there anyone in the world who would last longer than a day in my company ?
I hope so.. I don't want to feel this empty my whole life. It's just unfair. I miss him, my best frend, my brother, my soulmate. I've done everything with him... I guess. I'm not sure, even he doesn't know. What have we done that night ? =O Neither of us nows. And I guess I'll never know...

I'm all on my own, in my room in Hogwards. All alone. The room is almost empty, I've never brought some stuff to put here. I thought I'd never come and sleep here. Most of the time I went out every night and came back drunk as hell. But not here, to my own home. I've got a home, but.. I'm not there anymore.
I'm at Hogwards all the time now, I love this place because it holds so mutch memories. I remember many things of my time in this school. It's funny to be here, I become so nostalgic @____@
But Fuck. I don't want to be nostalgic because it makes me sad.
And I don't like being sad because it makes me look so weak.
And I don't want to be weak, I want to be the strongest person on Earth.
How can I be strong ? Who can teach me ? No one can. I'm useless now. Until my death. Unless someone comes ... Someone from above. Unless .. Unless @___@ That name will be in my mind forever, I'll always think about him. Even when I see his brother. Nathan ... I love him to !
I think Nathan is a friend too. I'm not sure but... Maybe he considers me as a friend to. Who knows ? I should ask him once, if I'm his friend. Maybe he'll laugh about me because I'm so stupid. And that is true. I am so stupid !
But who cares ? No one notices me. When I walk through the school, the boys don't look at me, only the girls. And they smile at me. Maybe they like me, I don't know. I'm happy my sweet Jade doesn't see them... She would kill them !
Yeah, Jade is a killer. She can be really horrible, but never to me. Except when she's having a period... You know, when her pantys become red ? >.< That happens once a month, and it is horrible ! I wish girls didn't have to lose all that blood and be so cranky all the time ! =O
I hate it when she's having her period. First of all, it's disgusting. Then it's annoying, and finally we can't have sex !
That's the most horrible thing... Not having sex. You know, I'm an addict. I'm not very proud of it, but it just is like that. I even slept with a guy. But not just a guy... The beautiful, the most perfect man on earth : Nathan Unless.

I want to see him again ...
I want to talk to him again ...
I have to find Nathan Unless !
That's why on this wonderful morning I search through the castle, looking for my friend.
I go to his desk, Jade isn't there ... I look under the desk, behind a door, behind a lamp. But he isn't there. I call his name, no answer. He's not there !
So I go to the kitchen, and ask the little elfs if they can help me. They give me a lot of food but not what I was looking for .. Hum. They gave me a bag with three bottles of Vodka =O
And with my "gling-gling"-ing bag, I go to the tower. Maybe he had to send a letter? But no, he's not between the owls. Too bad ! I look out the window and see someone on the grass. It looks like him but I'm not sure.
So I run.
My bag makes a lot of noise, but I don't care.
People look at me like I'm crazy, but I am.
I run.
I run faster.
I run until I get out of the castle.
And then I walk.
I walk until I'm behind him.
I was right, it was Nathan sitting there. He doesn't look like he is fine .. He looks.. Drunk O___o
He's got a bottle in his hand... Poor him, he must be devastated. Let's not talk about it.
I want to be drunk to, with him.

- Hi Nathan ...

I look at him and smile.
Then I sit next to him. He must know he's not alone.
I'm here with him, for him. To help.

- You look wasted ! What have you been drinking ?!

I smell his shirt, it has got the smell of alcohol all over it !
I take out a bottle of Vodka and start to drink too.
If he's drunk, I wanna be too !
(Okay one bottle won't hurt me, and I might have to stay sober for him...)
Yeah, I decide to stay sober for him. That's why I put back my bottles and push my bag far-far-faaar away ! I can't see it !
I can't be drunk. I have to help him. But maybe he's hallucinating and I want it too ...
Nooo ! I'm not an alcoholic ! Not at all ! Okay .. Maybe a little bit. So what ? I'm not drinking now, I'm strong ! For Nathan.

- So .. It's been a long time huh ?

I look at the sky.
Silly question ...
I'm thinking about his brother, I miss him... But I need to help Nathan. Because I love him too!

[ By the way : Tadaaaa ! If you don't want me say it xDD I'll erase my message =o ]